Eggs Benedict

The Pope. The Hype. The Cheers. The Jeers. Well, like it or not, Papa Ratzi is here to stay. It's ironic that a man hitherto noted solely for possessing all the tolerance and understanding of a Moral Majoritarian at a Pro-Choice rally is now identifying himself with the forces of love and compassion. At any rate, I am not particularly interested in passing judgement on the man himself; there are already more than enough punters vociferously getting their point across. In fact, between myself and yourself, the only real feeling aroused within me when I heard the news was self-pity. Weeks ago I had noticed that the rabid German with the deep-set eyes was an outsider at 20/1. The reckless gambler that dwells within me began to toss and turn, and I began to consider my options. However, having lost a nice sum on the Irish National, I decided against such folly.
I learned of the new Pope's assumption of power without ever having to be told. It was a Wednesday afternoon. The Cardinals were in conclave. I was standing outside Easons. The rain was coming down in bucketfuls, and I was waiting for someone who was to arrive at 5.45. Hearing church bells, I figured that my date was late. Checking my watch, I saw that it was actually 5.40 and that I was early. Then it dawned on me. We had a new pontiff. I knew at that moment that I was out of pocket. I knew it was Ratzinger. The reckless gambler awoke with a start and was not amused. And neither was I.
As I have stated, there has been much pontificating - huh huh - on the pros and cons of Catholicism Inc's new corporate C.E.O. But there has been very little talk about 'God.' This to me is the nub of the issue. The Roman Church, and indeed all Christian Churches, seem to be predicated on a narrow, unthinking spirituality which presents the adherent with an unhealthy image of a paternalistic deity. This eternal being has little to do with either love or lasting happiness. Fear and prejudice, on the other hand, generally loom large. Over the last few weeks, the media have saturated us with religious imagery and coverage of massive crowds engaging in riotuous celebration. What exactly are they celebrating? I ask this question not to belittle or to sneer, but I do wonder what exactly the election of a new pope can bring to people's lives.
Another thing that struck me during the events of the last few weeks was the omnipotence of technology. Photos of the Popemobile crawling through crowds of delirious Catholics were characterized by a veritable orchestra of digital cameras, phones and camcorders being waved at the new man of the moment. The first world grows more and more affluent, yet the signs are not on its citizens. In order to find meaning, or substance, in this life, hundreds of thousands gathered in Rome to celebrate the ascendancy of a new pontiff that can only give a vague, inherently problematic promise of happiness in the afterlife. The frenzy of these people, directed towards a man who publicly, publicly contends that homosexuals, whose sexuality has been scientifically proven to be natural, are inherently evil creatures, might have even the most cynical of observers convinced that they are onto something in the quest for happiness. I have but one concern; If Catholicism leads to spiritual fulfilment, why all the flashy technology? Why all the fancy clothes? Have you ever stopped and thought that the most materialistic people in society generally also believe in a spiritual afterlife devoid of possessions?! Stop trying to fill the hole people! Just learn to laugh at the hilarity of the human condition and stop worshipping the false gods of consumerism and catholicism. You'll feel better.

Coincidentally, I've been asked to monitor a funeral today at work. The use of incense has no place in a House of God...and fire alarms. Maybe I'll finally see what all the fuss is about.

Also, thanks to Stephen and Karl who have posted a link to this blog on their own sites. Next time we meet, I'll buy the peanuts.

"How should we know? We should not question! Our stay on earth is not for long. Let us rejoice and believe and give thanks."
Ernest Hemingway, The Sun Also Rises (Delivered not without irony)